you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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