I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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