I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
