omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
