Buhtt sex?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
