margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
