glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize