For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
