It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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