So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
