Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
