drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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