But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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