I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
