So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Watching her eat just hurts me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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