I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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