he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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