You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
