i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
