so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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