the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
