I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
