Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
