I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
