saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
