I heard we made out
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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