i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
