You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
