Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
