Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
