So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have feelings that need drinking.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize