He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
