It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
