I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
