I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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