What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
