is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
