I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize