I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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