My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
