No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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