He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
