I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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