Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
