Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
