id be glad to
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize