Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
