Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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