Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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