You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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