What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
