from now on my penis is your penis
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
