I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
