my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
