Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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