Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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