plz talk dirty to me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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