No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
its liver damage thursday
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
