return my video game
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
