Dude.. I donβt care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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