I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
