I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
