well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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