"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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