I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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