Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
