where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
