i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
