Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wear drunk well.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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